"Oh to Grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be.
Let thy goodness, like a fetter
bind my wandering heart to Thee!"

Saturday, November 3, 2007

When the Darkness Will Not Lift

How much longer until my faith is restored?
I despise this state, what has happened to me Lord?
Affections have been shifted, since when am I bored
With the things of the spirit? I deserve to be abhorred.
A wicked sinner, I’ve returned to the things
That you once set me free from, and this heart of mine sings
The tune of the flesh, of the world, of the death
That awaits this kind of thinking, I pray you bring me no rest.
For as long as I’m in this state, my soul should never have peace,
I will stay up all night Lord until my faith has increased.
Less of me, more of You, it sounds simple enough
But it’s not so easy when the seas become rough.
Satan’s tossing me around with doubts, and lies, and with mocks.
It’s like the seed that’s been planted is falling on rocks.
But I know that’s not true, for my life has been bought
With the price of the blood of my foundational Rock.
Lord, I’ve tasted and seen, and I KNOW that You’re good,
You’ve captivated this heart, so please, if You would
Draw me back in Lord, I’ve strayed from the path
And I’m walking down one that brings destruction and wrath.
Because it’s the path in which I’ve created myself.
You know, the one that likes to glory in self.
And it sickens me to think that I would entertain that very notion
But that’s when I remember my faith is beyond any feeling or emotion.
No, the truth doesn’t depend on my fickle personal state
And it isn’t subject to any idol that in my heart I create.
The fact is that Jesus Christ the Son of God is risen
And he’s capable of keeping me from being bound to this prison.
This prison of exchanging the truth for a lie
The prison of forgetting that daily I must die
The prison of living for I, me and my.
My passion has dwindled, and though its been only a couple of days
I’m miserable Lord, and for Your rebuke now I crave.
Crush me Lord, for this now I beg
So I may be humbled, but I pray for mercy among rage.
Because Lord I am doing what I now hate to do
Like Paul, I cringe at the fact that I would ever turn my face from You
But I do, and I hate it, so I fight and I fight
It’s a warfare now Lord, so please bring your light.
It used to be I was so burdened that I could barely breathe,
Now im afraid that my breathing has become fearfully free.
Free from the reigns that you had once put on my mind
That kept me far from anything that did not glorify.
And now when I open my mouth, no prayer comes out
I’m at a loss for words as my mind wonders about.
It’s like suddenly I’m blind, and I’ve hit a spiritual wall
That is stopping me from getting up after this terrible fall.
But Hallelujah! You rescue sinners who cry out and who call
On Your name, for Your love is deep and Your mercy is tall.
So now I must rejoice, for in Lamentations I read
You are good to those who wait on You, so please don’t forget about me.
Because I’ll wait and I’ll wait, quietly and patiently for salvation
As you deliver me daily from this selfish temptation.
Reminding me always that You are in control
Because the Potter is sovereign over this pitiful soul.
So if it’s Your will Lord, I pray You meet me tonight,
And give me strength from Your cross to win this spiritual fight.
Because I know that destruction is broad and only ONE way is right
Only the righteous live by faith; and the fools live by sight.

No comments: