Another Poem

Mixed up. What a mess covered in a glossy coat
Back and forth. Back and forth on this sea-sickened boat.
Its been a while. Way too long for sanity’s sake.
If you knew how long you would probably call me fake.
Am I awake?
Maybe I fell asleep with my eyes wide open.
Knowingly or not, the Verdict has still spoken.
But am I broken?
I’m kind of nauseous. Actually, I’m very nauseous.
The outside has taken over with a series of blotches.
I can barely stomach to watch this.
Please, someone turn on the faucets.
Apparently I’m incapable of doing so myself.
So for my own benefit, for my Spiritual and physical health
Turn me somewhere besides inside myself.
Do you empty the trash when it’s piling up?
Do you sift through the junk, do you clean up the muck?
Or do you sit idly by and just wait for the truck?
After all, doesn’t it come by to pick it all up?
What a shame. Helpless to even will my way through
This freedom concept doesn’t feel very true.
Good thing feelings are subjective and don’t hold much weight
Good thing from the beginning I presented nothing on my plate.
Nothing of my own, no credit to my name
I came empty handed and I come now the same.
So take this shame.
I’m tempted to just fall in line with the world
Who doesn’t stay up late and wrestle with the Lord
But the word of God is sharper than a double-edged sword.
So staying up late is about all I can afford.
Its cuts through the mire, it splits my intentions.
It even puts my rest and my sleep on suspensions
Nothing is out of reach, no measure too great to be taken
No idol or affection can be hidden or mistaken
When the Light shines down, the darkness must run
Even if its been a while since it last saw the sun.
I’m undone.
You desire truth in my inner most part.
Please grant this, my Lord. Purify this heart.
Cuz at my best I’m a wretch, but my standing’s objective.
Righteous by the blood of the Lamb resurrected.

Dark Nights of the Soul (Brokenness and Sanctification) with Doug Eaton

A wonderful video from one of my good friends and brother in Christ, Doug Eaton. This video talks about how the Lord can bring His children down to some of the lowest times so that we will come to see our sinfulness. The best way I have ever heard this being described is "the valley of vision." I've had this happen to me a couple of times in my life, and one time being recently. It feels as if the Lord has withdrawn Himself from us, so that we may see His judgment of sin in the realeast way and so we may see the deception of the sins we have been ignoring or giving into. And yet, the result of this time, for the beleiver, is ALWAYS restoration and repentance unto LIFE and true sanctification. Affliction really is the way in which the Lord gets our attention. I seriously feel like Doug took the words right out of my mouth in this video, but expresses it better than I could so no sense in saying anything else. May the Lord use this video to encourage people out there that are finding themselves in the 'valley of vision' where sometimes it feels too painful to even function. This too shall pass, and remember James 1:2-4 as you endure. Take heart, my brother or sister, it is the Lord dealing with you as one of His CHILDREN, not enemies.

The Dark Side...

OHHH NOOOO. Oh Yes. I joined twitter- the very thing I said I would never do haha. Lane wore me down and I finally gave :) Going to use it for the glory of God! Feel free to follow me if you would like:

http://twitter.com/SusanYenser

Yielding Up Your Dearest....

This...doesn't really need any other words...just give it a listen. A series from Jeff Noblit on yielding up your dearest to the Lord.

Yielding Up Your Dearest to God p1a -

Yielding Up Your Dearest to God p1b -

Spurgeon Devotion

“Forget not all His benefits.”
- Psalms 103:2


It is a delightful and profitable occupation to mark the hand of God in the lives of ancient saints, and to observe his goodness in delivering them, his mercy in pardoning them, and his faithfulness in keeping his covenant with them. But would it not be even more interesting and profitable for us to remark the hand of God in our own lives? Ought we not to look upon our own history as being at least as full of God, as full of his goodness and of his truth, as much a proof of his faithfulness and veracity, as the lives of any of the saints who have gone before? We do our Lord an injustice when we suppose that he wrought all his mighty acts, and showed himself strong for those in the early time, but doth not perform wonders or lay bare his arm for the saints who are now upon the earth. Let us review our own lives. Surely in these we may discover some happy incidents, refreshing to ourselves and glorifying to our God. Have you had no deliverances? Have you passed through no rivers, supported by the divine presence? Have you walked through no fires unharmed? Have you had no manifestations? Have you had no choice favours? The God who gave Solomon the desire of his heart, hath he never listened to you and answered your requests? That God of lavish bounty of whom David sang, “Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things,” hath he never satiated you with fatness? Have you never been made to lie down in green pastures? Have you never been led by the still waters? Surely the goodness of God has been the same to us as to the saints of old. Let us, then, weave his mercies into a song. Let us take the pure gold of thankfulness, and the jewels of praise and make them into another crown for the head of Jesus. Let our souls give forth music as sweet and as exhilarating as came from David’s harp, while we praise the Lord whose mercy endureth for ever.

Baptism Video

Here is a video put together of my baptism that took place this past weekend. My sister in Christ, Mati, and I made a public proclamation of our faith on the beach in St. Augustine alongside a handful of people from our local church. Mati was saved this past February. My testimomy, as you have probably heard before, is a bit more complicated in that I don't know *exactly* when the Lord saved me. But I do know that a regeneration of my heart took place three years ago when I was convicted of my sin and saw the offense I was to a Holy God...and looked unto Christ in repentance for forgiveness of my sin. I had been baptized before at the age of 5 or 6after making a profession of faith (sinner's prayer). Needless to say, it took about three years after the Lord saved me to realize that I had not been baptized as a believer, but better late than never I suppose :) We put this together for our loved ones who were not able to be there, but I hope it blesses you and reminds you of how we serve a God who sets us free from our sins and gives us true life hidden in Him.

Jeff Noblit- Human Reasoning Vs. The Word of God

This is one of many sermons in a series from Jeff Noblit called Solving Problems and Healing Hurts. I pray that this encourages you like it did for me. Let this be a good time to test whether or not you are living your life based on the word of God or on human reason and psychology. On the surface, as Christians we would definitely say...THE WORD...but I pray this teaching would really cause you to dig deep and examine if this is true. I know it was able to stop me in my tracks and repent. Only God can change anything, so you can look within yourself all you want but ultimately you will find nothing. There's nothing in there that you can trust. The world tells you to look at yourself, to explore your past, to look at your experiences, to look at your fears, to look at your suffereings. And while all of that may seem like a good idea to us, ultimately we must trust Jeremiah when he says that our own hearts are deceitful. So then where can we turn if we are this capable of deceiving ourselves? We must turn to God and His word and faithful promises. It is the only reliable answer we have. If one has a foundation that this is true no matter what emotions and human reason are saying, then and only then can you go on with your life, trusting in God and His sovereignty. Much easier said than done, as I am daily finding out. Actually, it is an impossible task; only the Lord can grant it. This is so hard and goes completely against all of my flesh which is agonizing, but the Lord is so gracious to even put this kind of teaching in my path so that through His Spirit He may crush my flesh.

Just remember that the Holy Spirit will never guide you to look within yourself. Not for answers at least. Think about salvation. It is a work of God. It is done by the convicting power and drawing of the Holy Spirit. It is not anything of yourself, only the Spirit. So why, when we find ourselves in situations that cause us affliction or hurt, would we run to the world's wisdom? I cannot even act ignorant of that question even though I want to, because I do it all the time. I know I do it because it is a tempation to just appease the flesh, and I give in.

"Are we going to start by the power of the Holy Spirit yet finish with the arm of the flesh? Start with the Spirit and end with humanity and man's wisdom? No we're diciples of Jesus Christ; we're people according to a new Way" -Jeff Noblit

Galatians 3:2-5

"Let me ask you only this: Did you receive the Spirit by works of the law or by hearing with faith? Are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh? Did you suffer so many things in vain--if indeed it was in vain? Does he who supplies the Spirit to you and works miracles among you do so by works of the law, or by hearing with faith"

I must say that even writing these words right now are hard for me. In the midst of a time when I am battling every second to not rely on the arm of the flesh (and feeling as if I'm failing most of the time), this post is difficult to even publish. Mostly because I feel like a hypocrite. It is not as if I can "feel" the Lord really rescuing me from human reason and from my emotions, because honestly I don't. Not all the time, at least. But I know He is bringing me through all of this for a reason, and I praise Him for even bringing me to a point where I know that even though I don't feel all fuzzy inside, He is still working. And for some reason the Lord is revealing this stuff to me so that I myself would believe it, and even though I am struggling to do so, I cannot keep but writing it in hopes that someone else would read it and be encouraged. I pray that is what happens.

Solving Problems, Healing Hurts: The Foundation p2a -

This series is quite an amazing one. There are many, however, and as tempting as it is to post all of them on here at once, I figured I would start with just this one first. There's enough to chew on here for a lifetime. But, if you want to check out the whole series I got it off the anchoredintruth.org podcast.