Oh How Easily We Forget....

Oh how easily we forget the muck and mire we were in,
The times when we went without faith, the times as slaves to sin.
Oh how easily we forget the dreaded days when our eyes were blind,
When my thoughts were only selfish, and when true depravity was mine.
Oh how sick and sad to see, how we forget so easily
About the former days of empty praise we sang with worldly ease.

I for one, come before you Lord, so broken and contrite
So much so, my flesh and bones will get no rest tonight.
For quite a bit of time has passed, before I’ve now come to see,
That I have been living in great sin and running away from Thee.
O Lord, how easily I have forgotten, my former days of carnal lust
And instead of staying alert and awake and giving You my trust,
I have given way to earthly treasures which have rotted and collected dust.

But a child of God cannot go on deceived by its youthful lusts,
The Lord will stretch and pull and pry and chastise when He must.
Because it is so clear how fast we steer from the straight and narrow path
I know personally, for a season now I have lost all sight of His holy wrath.
And what a frightening time indeed, when you have lost that holy fear
Of the Lord and His righteousness; instead you put on the deceptively fake veneer.
Oh hypocrite, your lips may sing but your heart is far from Me
Father, I beg you now, draw me back in so I’m near to Thee.

Oh how easily I have forgotten the times of those dreaded days
When my heart was only selfish, so depraved in all my ways.
For just as easily as I’ve forgotten, just as easily I have seen
That same person I once left behind has come back in a nightmarish dream.
But I am grateful that tonight, Lord, You’ve given me eyes to see
That I’ve been blinded once again, and its time to come running back to Thee.
So I pace and pace, and pray and pray until wee hours of the night
Reading psalm after psalm, no rest or peace, not until I'm reconciled in Your sight.

What is this Lord, can’t I come back to fellowship with Thee?
Seems not until I’m stripped and still, knowing I’ve sinned in thought and deed.
I acknowledge it Lord, I’ve sinned against You! Be merciful to me indeed.
Deal with me not in your anger, I beg, and my confessions I do concede.
So for now, I know one thing, I will sit and wait upon your gracious gift,
The gift of repentance, Lord, so this great burden may finally lift.
I exalt you Lord, so abase me now, so I remember again those days
When I was so dependent on your grace, that it guided me in all my ways.
Because it seems that I’ve forgotten and now my heart has become so hard
Only to come to grips with my sin, feeling trapped and chained and barred.

But oh how merciful you are to the righteous, even though I don’t feel I qualify
I know I’ve been washed and cleansed by your blood, I pray the flesh now I mortify.
For sin leads to death, to destruction, to despair, and I’ve tasted that tonight
But gracious you have been to me, Lord, though I’ve been anything but upright.
You’ve heard my cry and delivered me, and your faithfulness is clear
You will have nothing to do with a prideful heart, but the humble you’ll draw near.
Why do I insist on forgetting this, like I haven’t learned it before in my past?
Transform me by the renewal of my mind, so this spiritual growth with last.

Oh how easily, Lord, I had forgotten my former days of bondage to sin.
So use it now to remind me how if I don’t have your grace I’ll be there again.

My Testimony

By the grace of God, I gave my testimony this past February at a FCA meeting here on campus (University of Florida). The audio was posted on the internet and one of my good friends put it to a video for me- the same friend who I mention in my testimony.

I know I made a short video of my testimony a while back, but here it is in audio form. I pray that it will be a testiment to the Lord's saving grace and His ability to rescue the deceived from the bondage of their self-righteousness and sins. Soli Deo Gloria!

And yes, that's a picture of me with James White!

Something the Carnal Heart Will NEVER Understand

Here is just a quick excerpt from Jeremiah Burroughs' book The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment. I'm posting this because of a conversation my friend and I just had over dinner. We were talking about our lives and past experiences and how both of us have gone/are going through VERY similar situations. What happened to me a year and a half ago has been happening to her (freakishly similar) in the past 5 or so months, and it has been SUCH a blessing to see this verse right here really take place in my life:

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them who are in any trouble, by the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted of God.

We are both athletes in which the Lord used our sports as a means to completely break us down and remove the pride out of our lives. The very same comfort that the Lord gave me during that time is the same comfort I was able to offer her through the grace of God while she was going through it. But we talked about how alllllll of that hard stuff that we went through was amazing now that we look back on it, because had we not gone through it we wouldn't have been broken in our sins and seen the work of Christ for the precious jewel that it is. We would still be serving the idols of our fleshly desires. It reminded me of the passage that I had read in this book and immediately after dinner we went back to my apartment to read through this. It is very biblical for those that the Lord calls His to be afflicted greatly here on earth. In fact, it is promised- but all our afflictions represent blessings in disguise.

The carnal mind will NEVER grasp or understand this concept, but thank the Lord that He gives us the understanding and the spiritual eyes to see the purpose of our afflictions. I know that it has been the great trials and sufferings in my life that have yielded the greatest amount of growth. I know I write about this a lot, and it almost seems to be the subject of all my posts, but honestly, it is the issue that I find myself in practically all the time. Whenever one trial ends, it seems another one begins, and we all need to keep it in perspective. The perspective that God is in control and if we are His then we can rest assuredly- knowing that it is all for the furthering of our sanctification and preparing us for that Great Day when we join our King for eternity. I write about it a lot because I am tempted to forget this truth on a DAILY basis. Also, I know a few people in my life who are being broken by the Lord and are having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I have been there, and I pray that this passage brings them encouragment. And for those of you have experienced those tmes of being completely broken before an almighty God, rejoice for those moments of pure desperation that they brought, knowing that they helped refine your faith. I pray we will be transformed by the renewing of our minds with these truths, because it is an ongoing process that will be with us for as long as we are on this earth:

USUALLY WHEN GOD INTENDS THE GREATEST MERCY TO ANY OF HIS PEOPLE HE BRINGS THEM INTO THE LOWEST CONDITION.

God seems to go quite across and work in a contrary way: when he intends the greatest mercies to his people he first usually brings them into a very low conditions. If it is a bodily mercy, an outward mercy that he intends to bestow, he brings them physically low, and outwardly low; if it is a mercy in their possessions that he intends to bestow, he brings them low in that and then raises them; and in their reputations, he brings them low there, and then raises them; and in their spirits God ordinarily brings their spirits low and then raises their spirits. Usually the people of God, before the greatest comforts, have the greatest afflictions and sorrows. Now those who understand God's ways think that when God brings his people into sad conditions, he is leaving and forsaking them, and that God does not intend any great good to them. But a child of God, who is instructed in this way of God, is not troubled; 'My condition is very low,' he says, 'but this is God's way when he intends the greatest mercy, to bring men under the greatest afflictions.' When he intended to raise Joseph to be second in the kingdom, God cast him into a dungeon a little before. So when God intended to raise David and set him upon the throne, he made him to be hunted as a partridge in the mountains (

1 Samuel 26:29). God dealt this way with his Son: Christ himself went into glory by suffering (Hebrews 2:10); and if God so deals with his own Son, much more with his people.

A little before daybreak you will observe it is darker than it was any time before, so God will make our conditions a little darker before the mercy comes. When God bestowed the last great mercy at Naseby* we were in a very low condition; God knew what he had to do beforehand, he knew that his time was coming for great mercies: it is the way of God to do so. [*In 1645, the parliamentary army won a decisive victory against the Royalists at Naseby, Northamptonshire. The messages which comprise this book were preached by Burroughs in that year.] Be instructed aright in this course and way that God is accustomed to walk in and that will greatly help us to contentment.

IT IS THE WAY OF GOD TO WORK BY CONTRARIES, TO TURN THE GREATEST EVIL INTO THE GREATEST GOOD.

To grant great good after great evil is one thing, and to turn great evil into the greatest good is another, and yet that is God's way: the greatest good that God intends for his people, he many times works out of the greatest evil, the greatest light is brought out of the greatest darkness. I remember, Luther has a striking expression for this: he says, 'It is the way of God: he humbles that he might exalt, he kills that he might make alive, he confounds that he might glorify.' This is the way of God, he says, but every one does not understand it. This is the art of arts, and the science of sciences, the knowledge of knowledges, to understand this, that God when he will bring life, brings it out of death, he brings joy out of sorrow, and he brings prosperity out of adversity, yea and many times brings grace out of sin, that is, makes use of sin to work furtherance of grace. it is the way of God to bring all good out of evil, not only to overcome the evil, but to make the evil work toward the good. Now when the soul comes to understand this, it will take away our murmuring and bring contentment into spirits. But I fear there are but few who understand it aright; perhaps they read of such things, and hear such things in a sermon, but they are not instructed in this by Jesus Christ, that this is the way of God, to bring the greatest good out of the greatest evil.
 

Silent Thanks (Charles Spurgeon)

Ok, first of all I want to apologize for seemingly abandoning this blog for a small time...eeeek. As of a few weeks ago, I'm now back in Florida after about a month and a half of a break spent back home in Marietta, Ga. It's great to be back to my normal routine, but that also means that summer classes and summer basketball team workouts have started too! SO my schedule has been so hectic, and frankly I'm so tired when I get back to my room after a packed full day that I find myself resting or just flat out going to sleep :). (Not being able to operate at late hours of the night is hindering my blogging since that's usually when I'm at my best haha.) So anyway, I apologize for not keeping up. Hopefully after this week my body will be adjusted to the workouts and I won't be as worn out. But for now, I wanted to let you guys know that I haven't gone anywhere and also I wanted to quote this quick passage from the book I'm reading by Spurgeon: "The Power in Praising God."

Silent Thanks

"We may sometimes thank God not only by feeling thankful, living thankfully, and speaking our thanks, but by silently blessing Him. This consists of suffering patiently and accepting the bad as well as the good from Jehovah's hand; it is often better thanksgiving than the noblest psalm that the tongue could express. When you bow down before Him and say, "Not My will, but Yours, be done" (Luke 22:42), you show Him honor equal to the "Hallelujahs" of the angels. To feel not only submitted, but willing to be anything or nothing as the Lord wills it-- this is, in truth, to sing a song to our Well Beloved."

I think we all can relate to this feeling of silently enduring what the Lord is willing us to go through....and not just enduring it, but being thankful for it. What a task it is! One that can only be done with the strength given to us from our Lord Himself.

Have a great day today in the Lord and be blessed my brothers and sisters!

Sanctification at all costs?

Lately, I have found myself talking about the idea of being "sanctified at all costs." It is a phrase that I throw out there to try and describe and take hold of the intense anguish that sanctification brings our way sometimes. I mean, if you truly belong to the Lord, and you are His, well, then you are promised to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ via....sanctification. We are promised that. Wow, what a privilege. And I don't think that either one of us can truly grasp that concept...I mean TRULY grasp the concept that we are gradually being conformed to the IMAGE OF CHRIST. That is so drastic. It is the reason that the Lord must use such drastic measures to get us to that point. Sometimes it is subtle and sweet and sometimes it's DEFINITELY not. And sometimes the Lord will use those things that are closest to our hearts to wake us up and make us realize that we are in this life of ours for ONE SOLE REASON: TO GLORIFY THE NAME OF THE LORD. TO LIFT UP HIS NAME IN ALL THAT WE DO, SAY, THINK, BREATH, EAT, DRINK, EVERYTHING! So enduring sanctification is a lot easier-despite the cost-when you put it all into perspective like that.

But then I got to thinking. Sanctification at all costs? Maybe I am looking at this all wrong. I mean, if the price of sanctification is compared to the reward that is on the other side...can I even call it a cost at all? I'm beginning to think that I might need to change my phrase. Even in my marketing class I learned that the value of something is equal to the price divided by its benefits. The benefits of the heavenly reward outweigh the price we pay on this earth so much that I don't even think it can be said that there is a cost involved. So then I found some verses in Hebrews from a Piper sermon that I really think drives it home that the eternal reward that is awaiting us is a free gift that I gladly will endure all things on this earth to inherit. And not only endure them...but realize that it cannot even be compared to the glory that is on the other side. Of course, the reward should not be my main focus-that should be on bringing glory to the all-encompassing name of my Heavenly Father-but the reward is real and it should no doubt encourage us in our earthly affairs. It definitely was one of the driving forces behind the courage of the saints that came before us....take a look at some of these verses regarding this subject:

Hebrews 10:32-35

But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after you were illuminated, you endured a great fight with afflictions; Partly, while you were made a public display both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, while you became companions of them that were so used. For you had compassion on me in my bonds, and took joyfully the spoiling of your goods, knowing in yourselves that you have in heaven a better and an enduring possession. Cast not away therefore your confidence, which has great recompense of reward.

Hebrews 11:6
But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that comes to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.

Hebrews 11:24
By faith Moses, when he was grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; Choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God, than to enjoy the pleasures of sin for a time; Esteeming the reproach of the Christ greater riches than the treasures in Egypt: for he looked for the recompense of the reward. By faith he forsook Egypt, not fearing the wrath of the king: for he endured, as seeing him who is invisible.

Hebrews 11:35-40
Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection: And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment: They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented; (Of whom the world was not worthy:) they wandered in deserts, and in mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.

Hebrews 12:2
Looking unto Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 13:12
Therefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered outside the gate.

So in these verses we see the theme of both suffering and enduring affliction but doing it all [with joy] to inherit an incorruptible reward. You see, no amount of earthly affairs, no matter how tragic or how disastrous they are, can separate you from the promise of God to grant you the ultimate reward: to live forever IN Christ- no longer separated from your Creator by your sins. Wow, I mean can you really imagine this?? I thank God for the moments, and sometimes the milliseconds that he gives me the eyes to see just how glorious this will be! Those milliseconds are enough to keep me going for the rest of my life here on earth!!

So if we take God at His word, which thankfully we can do because He is faithful and never changes, then we can take comfort in the fact that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28). I mean think about what that verse TRULY means. It means that if you belong to the Lord then NOTHING that happens to you is outside of God's will which is nothing but for your own good. Now, lets stop right there and define the word good in this context. It doesn't mean earthly good like many would try to twist and make it out to be. It means good in the TRUEST sense...which is good in the eternal perspective. It means that NOTHING happens to you that isn't used to bring you closer to God. Nothing happens that does not work towards the ultimate goal of conforming you to the image of Christ.

If you really get a hold of the sovereignty of God and you believe that HE is the one who is indeed in control of all things (like the Bible tells us He is) then you can rest assure that what you go through on this earth is not hopeless and purposeless. Go back to the verses posted above. Does it look like that God's people went through those sufferings with no purpose or redeeming outcome in mind? No. It's the opposite. They endured their affliction KNOWING that they had something better in store, and that it was all just part of their sanctification that would bring them to their Savior, Jesus Christ. And we can even look at Jesus' life and see the same thing. He endured the afflictions knowing that He would also be seated at the right hand of God AND ALSO knowing that He was doing the will of His Father so that ALL THOSE BELIEVING on Him would be sanctified through His blood and be brought unto Him for all eternity. What a self-less sacrifice. And let's take a look at what the Lord continues to say after Romans 8:28 in verse 29 and 30: For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

Sounds like a promise to me. There isn't any room for doubt in those verses. What God says He will do, it is a promise set it stone never to be gone back on. He has predestined His followers before the foundation of the world to be conformed to the image of His Son and to be justified in His eyes and to be glorified. AMEN. And you can be sure that no earthly circumstance can separate you from that promise, if you are indeed His (which is what Paul goes on to describe in verses 31-39). All this being said, I am not downplaying the hurt and pain that we no doubt experience in this world. It is not something to be taken lightly BY ANY MEANS. It is our duty to be comforters to those who are in need and who are experiencing great anguish due to circumstances of this world. But we are to do so with the hope and the promise that has been given us. And when it comes to our own lives we are to approach our sanctification with the same confidence-that is mindful of the greater reward-that Moses had and that every other saint (of whom the world was not worthy of) had. O that that very phrase could be said about me! It would be only by the grace of God. For it is Him who wills and works in me to transform me and my mind so that I think in this heavenly perspective that this world does not even recognize.

So is it really sanctification at all costs? Yes, sometimes it may feel that way, but I think I am going to start rewording that. It is my privilege and honor to endure sanctification that will lead me to the greatest gift that anyone could ever imagine. It is sanctification at no cost at all....it is sanctification with only a reward. When you look at it in this perspective, you will lose focus on all the earthly things you feel you are missing out on, and instead you will be motivated by the incorruptible crown that is incomparable with anything in this life. It seems simple, but I believe it is a misconception that our natural, fleshly mind still wants to lean towards. Like "look at everything I am giving up for the Lord." NO...it should be "look at all the things He is GIVING me that I don't deserve!" And even with that, though the Lord gives and takes away, you can tell by those verses that He does so because of His lovingkindness to lead us into greater fellowship with Him. He does so that we may keep the heavenly reward in priority at all times. What an awesome God.

My prayer is that this will not just be words on a page for me, or for any of my brothers and sisters. I pray that the doctrine of sanctification and what all it encompasses and what purpose it serves will not just be head knowledge, but instead that it will invade every aspect of our lives. This is a way of thinking that I pray never leaves us, just like it never left the saints of the Bible when they faced the most difficult of decisions and circumstances. It is my prayer that next time you are faced with a circumstance or a choice that forces you to endure a denial of yourself and your creature comforts, that you will keep in mind that you are doing it so that you may obtain a better resurrection and because you are knowing in yourselves that you have in heaven a better and an enduring possession looking for the recompense of the reward. If it helps you, then remember that it isn't sanctification at all costs, but instead, by God's grace, it is sanctification for a reward.

Here is a great song that goes along perfectly with this topic:

Psalm 4- Encouragement, Endurance, Patience- James White

I've been very blessed to get to know Dr. James White of Alpha Omega Ministries a little bit over in his chat channel (#prosapologian) for the past 3 months or so. I cannot even put into words my appreciation for his defense of the entire gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. The stand that he takes despite the consequences in a post-modern world is beyond encouraging to me. When he made these two videos yesterday, well, my jaw nearly hit the ground. The timing of these videos was impeccable. To say that I can personally relate to what he says here is the understatement of the year, and I could go on and on about it, but I won't because they pretty much speak for themselves. So to my brothers and sisters out there that feel the Lord tugging (and more than likely RIPPING) you away from a world that is telling you to keep busy and to stay carnal in all that you do and say...to the ones out there that want to fight it, but are facing deep difficulties...be encouraged and take heed to this message and remember this verse:

"But I know that the Lord hath set apart him that is godly for himself: the Lord will hear when I call unto him."





*Psalm 4 was the Psalm that the Lord showed me early on last year...and continued to bring me back to throughout all my struggles this past year. It was incredible. Then to hear Doc use it in the video blew me away. When I found myself, night after night, desiring so badly to just sit upon my bed and examine my heart in the presence of Almighty God, I began to be discouraged because, turns out, most people (including professing Christians) think that is crazy...or at least crazy to do it more than once a month or once a year or so. But no, God was calling me to do this night after night until my soul was resting in Him and Him alone. Oh what a process! Oh what a work the Lord was doing in my life and continues to build on today....a work that would have been impossible if I would have gotten distracted or found something else to do with that time! Then one night when I had withdrawn to the coffee shop that I go to in order to get away and get into God's word...there it was....there was the verse that God showed me for the first time (I probably had read it before, but didn't ever take it in):

"Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still." Psalm 4:4

Wow, considering that was word for word describing the state that I was finding myself in- literally upon my bed- BLEW ME AWAY. And from that night on it became the verse, and the entire chapter really, that the Lord would bring me back to whenever I got discouraged, or whenever I found myself wanting to do God's will but was finding huge amounts of struggle against it, either from within my own heart, or from the people and influences around me.

I know that James is known for his tough, apologetic, no-nonsense stance....but this is a great example that just because you are out there taking what the world calls a "judgmental" stand on objective truth doesn't mean that you are tough and unloving. No, in fact it is the opposite. It just means that you care enough about people to tell them the truth in love and don't waver on God's word. I don't expect the world to recognize this true love though, because it is not of the world. If it wasn't for the moments and hours and days and even years like James describes in the video, there is no way one can even have the strength and courage to stand up for Christ and His truth in a world that will toss you to the waste-side for doing so. That strength can only come from the grace of God. But I know that if it wasn't for those times of God bringing me through the valley I would not be where I am today. You really do learn to, not necessarily look forward to those times, but you definitely realize that those times reap a spiritual growth that cannot even be described, so you really do look forward to the fruits that come as a result of the intense struggle.

Most Christians can relate to the feelings that James talks about. But most won't admit it. I know that until about a year ago I didn't admit it. In fact I spent most of my time fighting these types of feelings because it is what the world told me to do. But I noticed that when you start being open about this stuff and start to actually be guided by the Holy Spirit and not the world and you share what the Lord is REALLY doing in your life...well, people start to treat you different. And not usually in a good way. But hey, God tells us ahead of time about this, so we shouldn't be surprised...in fact we should rejoice. After all, you realize who your true brothers and sisters in Christ are. I know I did. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. So if you feel the Lord calling you out from among them and drawing you unto Himself...please please please don't fight it. Set your affections on the things above and commune with your own heart alone with the Lord. And be encouraged by these moments of being stripped of all earthly comforts...it is just the Lord getting you to trust solely in Him. I pray that the Lord will continue to draw His children in so that we may grow in holiness and be sanctified and conformed to the image of His son. Amen.

The Truth War...

I thank Ingrid Schlueter from sliceoflaodicea.com for posting this quote from C.H. Spurgeon. I saw it and had to post it as well:

“The Church of Christ is continually represented under the figure of an army; yet its Captain is the Prince of Peace; its object is the establishment of peace, and its soldiers are men of a peaceful disposition. The spirit of war is at the extremely opposite point to the spirit of the gospel. Yet nevertheless, the church on earth has, and until the second advent must be, the church militant, the church armed, the church warring, the church conquering. And how is this? It is the very order of things that so it must be. Truth could not be truth in this world if it were not a warring thing, and we should at once suspect that it were not true if error were friends with it. The spotless purity of truth must always be at war with the blackness of heresy and lies.”

–Charles Haddon Spurgeon