Ok, So maybe I haven't quite been around the world...but it sure does feel like it! Since finals finished up the last week of April (and I was [temporarily] loosened from the reigns of college basketball) I have traveled to: Belize for a week on a mission trip, California for two weeks to see the boyfriend :), while I was out there we drove to Phoenix for a few days to visit with James White and his daughter Summer, went back home to Georgia for a week, and I am now in Kentucky visiting my extended family.
It's been an awesome month, but it is coming to a close, unfortunately. I will be returning back to Florida at the end of this week to get back to team training and also an internship at Sears. (It's my first real job ever lol). Balancing work and workouts could get interesting but at least it is only for 8 weeks :)
Anywho. The Lord has used this month to really really refresh me. It was probably the most long awaited month of my life, considering I finally got to see Lane after not seeing him for 5 whole months. Long distance relationships are quite tortuous. I have never relied so much on the grace of God in all of my life....which is probably the purpose of it then, huh?
Here is just a little taste of my time out in Cali. Lane and I took the video camera with us one night and after dinner we filmed a quick video promoting A.W. Pink's book "The Sovereignty of God." This book really did change my life, so I want to recommend it again to anyone who has never read it.
Here is a link to read it online for free: http://www.reformed.org/books/pink/
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
John Piper on the 'Bad Eye' in Matthew 6:23
(This is the passage by John Piper that I alluded to in my previous post. This is what the Lord used to wake me up during the season. It really convicted me of just how bad my eye had become in regards to my perspective on what was going on around me.)
What is the 'Bad Eye' in Matthew 6:23?
By: John Piper
A verse in Matthew is somewhat difficult to understand. It seems to dangle in the Sermon on the Mount with little connection to what goes before and after: "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!" (Matthew 6:22-23).
Before it: the familiar saying about not laying up treasures on earth: "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).
After it: the equally familiar saying about not serving God and money: "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money" (Matthew 6:24).
Therefore, the sayings before and after Matthew 6:22-23 deal with treasure or money. In fact, the first would flow really well into the second if we simply left out the intervening verses 22-23. The gist would be "Treasure God in heaven, not money on earth . . . because you can't serve two masters, God and money." So why does Jesus link these two sayings about money and God with a saying about the good eye and the bad eye?
The key is found in Matthew 20:15. Jesus had just told the parable of the workers in the vineyard. Some of them had agreed to work from 6 am to 6 pm for a denarius. Some the master hired at 9 am. Others at noon. Finally some he hired at 5 pm. When the day was done at 6 pm he paid all the workers the same thing--a denarius. In other words, he was lavishly generous to those who worked only one hour, and he paid the agreed amount to those who worked twelve hours.
Those who worked all day "grumbled at the master of the house" (Matthew 20:11). They were angry that those who worked so little were paid so much. Then the master used a phrase about "the bad eye" which is just like the one back in Matthew 6:23. He said, "Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?" (Matthew 20:15).
Unfortunately that last clause is a total paraphrase, not a translation. "Or do you begrudge my generosity" is a very loose paraphrase of "Or is your eye bad because I am good (? ho ophthalmos sou pon?ros estin hoti eg? agathos eimi?)" The "bad eye" here parallels the "bad eye" in Matthew 6:23.
What does the bad eye refer to in Matthew 20:15? It refers to an eye that cannot see the beauty of grace. It cannot see the brightness of generosity. It cannot see unexpected blessing to others as a precious treasure. It is an eye that is blind to what is truly beautiful and bright and precious and God-like. It is a worldly eye. It sees money and material reward as more to be desired than a beautiful display of free, gracious, God-like generosity.
That is exactly what the bad eye means in chapter six of the Sermon on the Mount. And that meaning gives verses 22-23 a perfect fitness between a saying on true treasure (vv. 19-21) and the necessity of choosing between the mastery of God and the mastery of money (vv. 24).
So the flow of thought would go like this: Don't lay up treasures on earth, but lay up treasures in heaven. Show that your heart is fixed on the value that God is for you in Christ. Make sure that your eye is good not bad. That is, make sure that you see heavenly treasure as infinitely more precious than earthly material treasure. When your eye sees things this way, you are full of light. And if you don't see things this way, even the light you think you see (the glitz and flash and skin and muscle of this world) is all darkness. You are sleepwalking through life. You are serving money as a slave without even knowing it, because it has lulled you to sleep. Far better is to be swayed by the truth--the infinite value of God.
So if you are emotionally drawn more by material things than by Christ, pray that God would give you a good eye and awaken you from the blindness of "the bad eye."
What is the 'Bad Eye' in Matthew 6:23?
By: John Piper
A verse in Matthew is somewhat difficult to understand. It seems to dangle in the Sermon on the Mount with little connection to what goes before and after: "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!" (Matthew 6:22-23).
Before it: the familiar saying about not laying up treasures on earth: "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, 20 but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).
After it: the equally familiar saying about not serving God and money: "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money" (Matthew 6:24).
Therefore, the sayings before and after Matthew 6:22-23 deal with treasure or money. In fact, the first would flow really well into the second if we simply left out the intervening verses 22-23. The gist would be "Treasure God in heaven, not money on earth . . . because you can't serve two masters, God and money." So why does Jesus link these two sayings about money and God with a saying about the good eye and the bad eye?
The key is found in Matthew 20:15. Jesus had just told the parable of the workers in the vineyard. Some of them had agreed to work from 6 am to 6 pm for a denarius. Some the master hired at 9 am. Others at noon. Finally some he hired at 5 pm. When the day was done at 6 pm he paid all the workers the same thing--a denarius. In other words, he was lavishly generous to those who worked only one hour, and he paid the agreed amount to those who worked twelve hours.
Those who worked all day "grumbled at the master of the house" (Matthew 20:11). They were angry that those who worked so little were paid so much. Then the master used a phrase about "the bad eye" which is just like the one back in Matthew 6:23. He said, "Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?" (Matthew 20:15).
Unfortunately that last clause is a total paraphrase, not a translation. "Or do you begrudge my generosity" is a very loose paraphrase of "Or is your eye bad because I am good (? ho ophthalmos sou pon?ros estin hoti eg? agathos eimi?)" The "bad eye" here parallels the "bad eye" in Matthew 6:23.
What does the bad eye refer to in Matthew 20:15? It refers to an eye that cannot see the beauty of grace. It cannot see the brightness of generosity. It cannot see unexpected blessing to others as a precious treasure. It is an eye that is blind to what is truly beautiful and bright and precious and God-like. It is a worldly eye. It sees money and material reward as more to be desired than a beautiful display of free, gracious, God-like generosity.
That is exactly what the bad eye means in chapter six of the Sermon on the Mount. And that meaning gives verses 22-23 a perfect fitness between a saying on true treasure (vv. 19-21) and the necessity of choosing between the mastery of God and the mastery of money (vv. 24).
So the flow of thought would go like this: Don't lay up treasures on earth, but lay up treasures in heaven. Show that your heart is fixed on the value that God is for you in Christ. Make sure that your eye is good not bad. That is, make sure that you see heavenly treasure as infinitely more precious than earthly material treasure. When your eye sees things this way, you are full of light. And if you don't see things this way, even the light you think you see (the glitz and flash and skin and muscle of this world) is all darkness. You are sleepwalking through life. You are serving money as a slave without even knowing it, because it has lulled you to sleep. Far better is to be swayed by the truth--the infinite value of God.
So if you are emotionally drawn more by material things than by Christ, pray that God would give you a good eye and awaken you from the blindness of "the bad eye."
Monday, March 16, 2009
It's Been a While...
Wow I can't believe I haven't written anything since January. I apologize for that, and I really do hope that with the season winding down now I will have more time to contribute to this. I realize so much now the providence of having to sit out of basketball last year because of my transfer. It was right after the Lord had awakened me out of cultural Christianity, and He divinely placed me in a situation where I could dedicate time and energy to the ministry and really study His word and also share my thoughts through the means of this blog. Now that I am almost finished with this season I now see how much of my LIFE it takes up. I mean it is my fourth year of college basketball so it wasn't a surprise, but taking the year off and then coming back really put it in perspective. I just am really praising God that He brought me back to the game of basketball this year with a completely different perspective on things. I went from basically worshipping the game (and really myself) to submitting my ways to the Lord even though that is really hard to do in such a secular (and prideful) environment. It hasn't been easy by any means. The Lord has had to walk with me hand in hand and also be there to correct me when I would lose sight of what really matters. I think the most amazing thing that I have learned this year is this: what is great in the eyes of the world is not always great in the eyes of God.
Ok, that sounds really really simple and elementary, but please listen to me when I say that the Lord has taught me this in the most personal and outright way that He could. It is one thing to profess that you believe that God's idea of great isn't always going to be great to your flesh or to the rest of the world, but it is a completely different thing for God to take it and penetrate your soul and let it transform your life. This is deep stuff; that is what I am learning right now. I don't know about you, but anytime the Lord is teaching me something, I can feel it. I don't mean that in the sense of 'oh I get the fuzzy wuzzies'...I mean I can feel something stirring on the inside of me. It's almost a restless feeling I get deep within me, as if I can feel the Lord transforming me from the inside out. I don't mean to freak you out with that, but most of the time I really do feel that way. I think it is whenever the Lord is taking something that I have believed on the surface level for so long and then starts renewing my mind and transforming my life with it- just like He promises He will do in His Word. Wow, just thinking about this process right now is overwhelming me. You see, this year has been a tough one for me (and by year I think more in terms of basketball seasons so really I am referring to the last 9 months or so- sorry its just how my brain operates). Not in the sense of "whoa is me" because it has still been a great year, but just in the sense of I have struggled a lot and I have failed a lot and I have felt far from God a lot. All of that being my fault and a result of not taking the opportunity to truly spend time with the Lord and make sure that I was lining myself up with Him and His word. Examining yourself takes time and effort...and I found that it is something that you can easily put on the backburner if you aren't careful. On the flipside there has been great things happen as well- and there were times when I had amazing time spent with the Lord. I guess it was just a testing time for me.
So I sat down tonight and I put my fingers to this keyboard and I had NO IDEA what I was going to write ahead of time. All this just starting coming out. And let me say that these past few moments have been so refreshing. Just recalling the faithfulness of my Lord is blowing me away, and I am sad to say that I have missed writing because it is a way that the Lord really brings into perspective just how much He is teaching me and transforming me. But no doubt His timing is sovereign. God taught me a lot last year through the triumphant times of sharing truth with others and being blessed enough to watch seeds of the Gospel take root and transform people's lives right before my eyes. And then in contrast, He has taken this year of more dry and desert-like times to teach me just as much. And bless me just as much. I guess this is where the whole "great to you doesn't always look great to God" thing comes in...
I know I sound like a broken record, but playing college basketball is grueling. It is a mental and physical drainer that can really drag you through the mud if you let it run your life. The emotional ups and downs could put someone in the crazy house. haha. But seriously. I don't say that for your sympathy. I chose to play it and in return it has been one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. I am saying that just so you can get the setting of what I am going to share. You give up hours and hours of your day to go through workouts that make you want to cry. To get treated sometimes like you aren't a human being. To be put on a huge stage for the world to see, and wondering again why you would take on something with so much pressure when you could just be like an ordinary college kid. Then something comes along that makes it so worthwhile that it's enough to get you through it. It's a business. Sometimes you feel so helpless and you don't know where or who to turn to because you will just be reminded with the cold reality that it's a business just like everything else.
So when I started to face all of this again this year, I found myself feeling, again, so helpless. Thoughts of "man if I could just get my chance" or "why am I doing all of this if it's never getting noticed." I began to become very uneasy and antsy about my position on the team. I would play a lot, then I wouldn't. I would play a lot, then I wouldn't. And no matter what I realized that I wasn't really in control at all. And as a basketball player it is difficult to not get caught up in the appearance of things. For the many games I started this year I was excited that people would see me and see that I started for Florida and be impressed. Then for the many games that I just sat there on the bench and played very little I was worried what people would think about me then. While that seems natural for a human being, it is sin at its finest. But you see how this up and down teeter-totter could drive you insane. It is the very definition of living in a fish bowl. But like I said, none of this happened in vain. The Lord was up to something....something huge.
While acknowledging that appearance in the eyes of the world meant nothing, I still was struggling. Similar to how I had mentally assented to the truths of the gospel for a long time, it took God’s work in me to make it truly come alive and transform me. No doubt the Lord had done a mighty work in me over the past two years where he really ripped the idol of basketball out of my life. Sitting out gave me the correct perspective on it; I really didn't live for basketball anymore. This I can say with a clear conscience because it definitely didn't control my every thought like it used to. I had released it in the sense of I didn't derive my happiness from it and I really could not play it anymore and move on with my life. But then there was another step that the Lord wanted to take it. With all that said, I was still struggling with this "hey this isn't fair" attitude, and I was also (as I just mentioned) still sinfully worried about the outward appearance of things. I kept asking the Lord why I kept finding myself in the same position over and over again. Why was I continually feeling shortchanged and frustrated? Why do I see all these other people, who don't fear God at all, get things handed to them. Why are they getting the opportunity to reap the success? Ah, yes that's right. Success as defined by who? Man, the Lord had nailed me.
At the same time I was questioning why I was even playing the dang sport. I mean if it no longer defines me, and I could walk away from the game without it destroying me, then what was I waiting around for? But the Lord is faithful and always goes above and beyond anything I could ever fathom with my human mind. He took this opportunity to really put things in perspective of how selfish I truly was being. I mean who said I was playing basketball so that I could do amazing things ON the court. What about the countless opportunities that I get to be a witness for Him simply because I am on the team. I had been looking at things so wrong. I was thinking of it all in terms of how it affected me when really it wasn't about that at all. But God was still gracious enough to change me in the process. He used a series of things that really reminded me of the simple truth that HE defines success, not this world. Man!
1 Corinthians 3:19-23
"For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their craftiness," and again, "The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile." So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future--all are yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's."
1Corinthians 1:20-21
"Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe."
Those are just a few verses that remind us that indeed, we don't define what is good and what is right. God does. (I will share with you at a later date more details on what the Lord used from His word to wake me up.) And as foolish as it might 'look' to the world for me to sit there on the bench it might be JUST what the Lord is using to bring glory to his name. Um, what a lesson to learn. Especially for an athlete. Talk about dying to self. And folks, let me tell you, it took an act of God. It took a miracle for Him to open up my eyes to this truth. Because if left up to me I would have remained in my sinful covetous, grumbling, unsatisfied state. I could write for days and days on the importance of theology and why mine was the reason why I was ever able to see these amazing truths about the God that we serve. He is indeed sovereign, and He is indeed the one who orchestrates, plans, wills and brings to pass EVERYTHING that takes place- and all for His glory. Not even a sparrow falls without His permission. Praise God for that. I never once had to worry whether or not His will was being accomplished through my suffering. I simply had to turn my eyes up to Him and be reminded again that He was in control and that I was an instrument to display HIS glory. Not my own. Not the fleshly desires of Susan Yenser. Man, what a deep truth that was starting to penetrate the depths of me. I could actually feel the Lord changing my mind, renewing it. Making it think completely different because it was so channeled to think like the world. I mean how could it not. Everything around me is telling me to care what the world thinks. Thankfully my God is Almighty and can overpower the principalities of this world. The Lord is doing a work in me that cannot be explained. It is beyond me. It is IN SPITE of me. And it is still taking place. This all happened pretty recently...in fact the season is still going on. We are headed to the first round of the NCAA tournament this weekend...yay :) The Lord has blessed me so much.
So there you have it. I guess I sat down tonight to get all of that off my chest. To share with you guys the faithfulness of the Lord. To encourage you that the Lord is sovereign and in control of ALL things. Please pray that the Lord continues this work that He has started in me. It is farrrr from complete. I still struggle with this, but each time I am reminded of the freedom that is found in the yoke of the Lord. Imagine that. Oh and I can't WAIT to share with you guys the passages/studies that the Lord put in my path to wake me up to these truths. I know I wrote sooo much in this post. I didn't plan to at all. I just couldn't stop. And I didn't even get to the details of the studies, but I will do that in my next couple posts FOR SURE. But I must get to bed. Please check back so I can show you the John Piper lesson that really smacked me in the face with my sin of coveting the things of this world over the precious treasure that is found in Heaven. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. He has saved me from the bondage of sin! Soli Deo Gloria!
ps- I would like to thank the "anonymous" person for posting a comment recently on my last post to remind me to post more often. No doubt God used that comment to spur me on to write this post after having gone so long. God used you, my friend. Thank you.
Matthew 11:25-30
Ok, that sounds really really simple and elementary, but please listen to me when I say that the Lord has taught me this in the most personal and outright way that He could. It is one thing to profess that you believe that God's idea of great isn't always going to be great to your flesh or to the rest of the world, but it is a completely different thing for God to take it and penetrate your soul and let it transform your life. This is deep stuff; that is what I am learning right now. I don't know about you, but anytime the Lord is teaching me something, I can feel it. I don't mean that in the sense of 'oh I get the fuzzy wuzzies'...I mean I can feel something stirring on the inside of me. It's almost a restless feeling I get deep within me, as if I can feel the Lord transforming me from the inside out. I don't mean to freak you out with that, but most of the time I really do feel that way. I think it is whenever the Lord is taking something that I have believed on the surface level for so long and then starts renewing my mind and transforming my life with it- just like He promises He will do in His Word. Wow, just thinking about this process right now is overwhelming me. You see, this year has been a tough one for me (and by year I think more in terms of basketball seasons so really I am referring to the last 9 months or so- sorry its just how my brain operates). Not in the sense of "whoa is me" because it has still been a great year, but just in the sense of I have struggled a lot and I have failed a lot and I have felt far from God a lot. All of that being my fault and a result of not taking the opportunity to truly spend time with the Lord and make sure that I was lining myself up with Him and His word. Examining yourself takes time and effort...and I found that it is something that you can easily put on the backburner if you aren't careful. On the flipside there has been great things happen as well- and there were times when I had amazing time spent with the Lord. I guess it was just a testing time for me.
So I sat down tonight and I put my fingers to this keyboard and I had NO IDEA what I was going to write ahead of time. All this just starting coming out. And let me say that these past few moments have been so refreshing. Just recalling the faithfulness of my Lord is blowing me away, and I am sad to say that I have missed writing because it is a way that the Lord really brings into perspective just how much He is teaching me and transforming me. But no doubt His timing is sovereign. God taught me a lot last year through the triumphant times of sharing truth with others and being blessed enough to watch seeds of the Gospel take root and transform people's lives right before my eyes. And then in contrast, He has taken this year of more dry and desert-like times to teach me just as much. And bless me just as much. I guess this is where the whole "great to you doesn't always look great to God" thing comes in...
I know I sound like a broken record, but playing college basketball is grueling. It is a mental and physical drainer that can really drag you through the mud if you let it run your life. The emotional ups and downs could put someone in the crazy house. haha. But seriously. I don't say that for your sympathy. I chose to play it and in return it has been one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. I am saying that just so you can get the setting of what I am going to share. You give up hours and hours of your day to go through workouts that make you want to cry. To get treated sometimes like you aren't a human being. To be put on a huge stage for the world to see, and wondering again why you would take on something with so much pressure when you could just be like an ordinary college kid. Then something comes along that makes it so worthwhile that it's enough to get you through it. It's a business. Sometimes you feel so helpless and you don't know where or who to turn to because you will just be reminded with the cold reality that it's a business just like everything else.
So when I started to face all of this again this year, I found myself feeling, again, so helpless. Thoughts of "man if I could just get my chance" or "why am I doing all of this if it's never getting noticed." I began to become very uneasy and antsy about my position on the team. I would play a lot, then I wouldn't. I would play a lot, then I wouldn't. And no matter what I realized that I wasn't really in control at all. And as a basketball player it is difficult to not get caught up in the appearance of things. For the many games I started this year I was excited that people would see me and see that I started for Florida and be impressed. Then for the many games that I just sat there on the bench and played very little I was worried what people would think about me then. While that seems natural for a human being, it is sin at its finest. But you see how this up and down teeter-totter could drive you insane. It is the very definition of living in a fish bowl. But like I said, none of this happened in vain. The Lord was up to something....something huge.
While acknowledging that appearance in the eyes of the world meant nothing, I still was struggling. Similar to how I had mentally assented to the truths of the gospel for a long time, it took God’s work in me to make it truly come alive and transform me. No doubt the Lord had done a mighty work in me over the past two years where he really ripped the idol of basketball out of my life. Sitting out gave me the correct perspective on it; I really didn't live for basketball anymore. This I can say with a clear conscience because it definitely didn't control my every thought like it used to. I had released it in the sense of I didn't derive my happiness from it and I really could not play it anymore and move on with my life. But then there was another step that the Lord wanted to take it. With all that said, I was still struggling with this "hey this isn't fair" attitude, and I was also (as I just mentioned) still sinfully worried about the outward appearance of things. I kept asking the Lord why I kept finding myself in the same position over and over again. Why was I continually feeling shortchanged and frustrated? Why do I see all these other people, who don't fear God at all, get things handed to them. Why are they getting the opportunity to reap the success? Ah, yes that's right. Success as defined by who? Man, the Lord had nailed me.
At the same time I was questioning why I was even playing the dang sport. I mean if it no longer defines me, and I could walk away from the game without it destroying me, then what was I waiting around for? But the Lord is faithful and always goes above and beyond anything I could ever fathom with my human mind. He took this opportunity to really put things in perspective of how selfish I truly was being. I mean who said I was playing basketball so that I could do amazing things ON the court. What about the countless opportunities that I get to be a witness for Him simply because I am on the team. I had been looking at things so wrong. I was thinking of it all in terms of how it affected me when really it wasn't about that at all. But God was still gracious enough to change me in the process. He used a series of things that really reminded me of the simple truth that HE defines success, not this world. Man!
1 Corinthians 3:19-23
"For the wisdom of this world is folly with God. For it is written, "He catches the wise in their craftiness," and again, "The Lord knows the thoughts of the wise, that they are futile." So let no one boast in men. For all things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future--all are yours, and you are Christ's, and Christ is God's."
1Corinthians 1:20-21
"Where is the one who is wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the debater of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe."
Those are just a few verses that remind us that indeed, we don't define what is good and what is right. God does. (I will share with you at a later date more details on what the Lord used from His word to wake me up.) And as foolish as it might 'look' to the world for me to sit there on the bench it might be JUST what the Lord is using to bring glory to his name. Um, what a lesson to learn. Especially for an athlete. Talk about dying to self. And folks, let me tell you, it took an act of God. It took a miracle for Him to open up my eyes to this truth. Because if left up to me I would have remained in my sinful covetous, grumbling, unsatisfied state. I could write for days and days on the importance of theology and why mine was the reason why I was ever able to see these amazing truths about the God that we serve. He is indeed sovereign, and He is indeed the one who orchestrates, plans, wills and brings to pass EVERYTHING that takes place- and all for His glory. Not even a sparrow falls without His permission. Praise God for that. I never once had to worry whether or not His will was being accomplished through my suffering. I simply had to turn my eyes up to Him and be reminded again that He was in control and that I was an instrument to display HIS glory. Not my own. Not the fleshly desires of Susan Yenser. Man, what a deep truth that was starting to penetrate the depths of me. I could actually feel the Lord changing my mind, renewing it. Making it think completely different because it was so channeled to think like the world. I mean how could it not. Everything around me is telling me to care what the world thinks. Thankfully my God is Almighty and can overpower the principalities of this world. The Lord is doing a work in me that cannot be explained. It is beyond me. It is IN SPITE of me. And it is still taking place. This all happened pretty recently...in fact the season is still going on. We are headed to the first round of the NCAA tournament this weekend...yay :) The Lord has blessed me so much.
So there you have it. I guess I sat down tonight to get all of that off my chest. To share with you guys the faithfulness of the Lord. To encourage you that the Lord is sovereign and in control of ALL things. Please pray that the Lord continues this work that He has started in me. It is farrrr from complete. I still struggle with this, but each time I am reminded of the freedom that is found in the yoke of the Lord. Imagine that. Oh and I can't WAIT to share with you guys the passages/studies that the Lord put in my path to wake me up to these truths. I know I wrote sooo much in this post. I didn't plan to at all. I just couldn't stop. And I didn't even get to the details of the studies, but I will do that in my next couple posts FOR SURE. But I must get to bed. Please check back so I can show you the John Piper lesson that really smacked me in the face with my sin of coveting the things of this world over the precious treasure that is found in Heaven. Praise God from whom all blessings flow. He has saved me from the bondage of sin! Soli Deo Gloria!
ps- I would like to thank the "anonymous" person for posting a comment recently on my last post to remind me to post more often. No doubt God used that comment to spur me on to write this post after having gone so long. God used you, my friend. Thank you.
Matthew 11:25-30
"I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to little children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
Sunday, January 4, 2009
A blessing in the form of a Dvd!
Well, I guess one of the good things about being on the basketball team is you are stuck on campus over Christmas break with nooooothing to do. haha. Well its not always a good thing, but I did have a lot of time to read and study up on some things, which was very refreshing. My boyfriend gave me this documentary for Christmas, and although I had already seen parts of it, watching it in whole has been SUCH a blessing to me. It helped me clear some things up and also confirm even moreso my belief in the doctrines of grace that have radically changed my life forever. So I just wanted to take the time to direct you to it and suggest it as something worth every penny of the investment. Its only 13 bucks, and its hours and hours of thorough discussion on the history of Calvinism and explanation of its theology. Packed full of Scriptures, it clears up all the misconceptions and straw men that us 'dirty Calvinists' are stuck refuting over and over again, haha. But anyways, click the pic and you will be directed to the site of the Apologetics Group, who produces all kinds of wonderful documentaries such as this one. So, check it out. Oh and I hope to be back to blogging in the near future. Its just so hard being in the middle of the season and traveling so much. I miss it though, that is for sure. God Bless everyone, hope you had a wonderful Christmas break. Let us keep our eyes fixed on Jesus Christ, the Author and Finisher of our faith. Amen.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Dogs, Crumbs, and Faith to Emulate (Jeff Noblit)
A wonderful sermon that I pray blesses you as much as it blessed me:
Monday, October 6, 2008
Frustration- The Slippery Slope of Distraction.
"Having come to the light of the knowledge of the glory of Christ from Scripture or by the preaching of the gospel, let us regard it as our duty to meditate frequently on his glory. It is the neglect of meditation that keeps so many Christians in a feeble state, regardless of their privileges. They hear of these things and assent to the truth of them or at least they do not question them. But they never solemnly meditate on them. They think that meditation is above their capabilities, or they are totally ignorant of how to go about it, or they are not too concerned about it, or they treat it as fanaticism. Many cannot meditate because their minds are so cluttered up with earthly things. The mind must be spiritual and holy, freed from all earthly clutter. It must be raised above things here below if we wish to meditate on the glory of Christ. So many are strangers to this duty because they do not mortify their earthly desires and concerns."
-John Owen from his book "The Glory of Christ"
So what is it in this life that actually matters and why do I find it so hard to stay focused on it? Well, the answer to the first question is glorifying Jesus Christ and His work on the glorious cross for my once wicked soul. And I'm still trying to figure out how to pinpoint the answer to the second one. All I can say is, what in the world? How is it that two years ago the Lord could completely come in and intervene in my life, draw me unto Himself, convict me of my sin, grant me repentance, and completely captivate my life as a whole....and yet, now, I'm left just wondering where it all went. Don't get me wrong, this is not a post about me questioning my salvation. It's nothing of the sort. The writing of this post, as crazy as it seems, is evidence in itself that I am saved, because the Lord is bringing to light many things that need to change in my life. Chastisement- a very good sign that you are a child of God.
So the quote that I put up at the top of this post really woke me up yesterday when I read it on the plane. John Owen did a really good job of awakening me with his descriptions of the glory of Christ...and then followed it up with a slap in the face with his calling out of the lazy people who are finding it hard to stay focused on it. I'm not being too hard on myself either (even though a lot of Christians would identify with the same convictions of not being focused enough on it either) but I'm seriously tired of letting myself off the hook. This is getting ridiculous. How does Christianity become so 'cultural' and 'watered down' anyways? Because people compare themselves to people who profess Christ, who then compare themselves to other people who profess Christ (instead of comparing themselves to the Bible), and the cycle gets more and more vicious until everyone just walks around thinking they are off the hook because they don't look any different from Johnny down the street who grew up in church and has a WWJD bumper sticker on his car. Excuse my tangent, but I mean isn't it true? And isn't that the very thing I am guilty of right now as I watch my walk with the Lord go down the tube on account of MY laziness and unwillingness to remove unnecessary worldly clutter from my life? Well, since most of you don't know me or my life...the answer to that question is YES. YES that is exactly what is happening to me right now, and I am confessing it.
What amazes me is how I could have let it get so out of control. I mean I got so lazy. It started out with the small things a few months back and just kind of built itself up, until a huge wall formed and I found myself surrounded, once again, by my selfishness and worldliness. I HATE worldliness, and yet I'm afraid right now that if you took a snapshot of my life you would see a whole lot of it. Whatever happened to the gospel being on my lips continuously? Why am I not taking advantage of witnessing opportunities like I used to? Where has the reign on my tongue gone? Where is my boldness that I used to have? Why am I finding myself enslaved to so much sin? These questions are driving me nuts because I'm finding myself completely helpless in changing a thing about the situation. I'm finding myself completely without the strength to simply 'pull myself up by the bootstraps' and start performing better. So this isn't the point in the post where I guilt trip myself into doing a better job and start turning inward to make myself change this. No way, my theology teaches me better than that- and so does the word of God.
I am seriously not resting in Christ. I am not denying myself. I am not mortifying my flesh. I'm not setting my mind on the things above. And it is all because I am being seriously lazy and not spending enough time TRULY taking in His word. I am making no true effort to mortify sin or remove worldly clutter. It is not my job to change myself. But it is my job to meditate on Christ and His glory! It is my job fight like crazy against the powers and principalities of this world, and most of all, my own sinful nature. I have corruption in my heart- I SERIOUSLY cannot fall asleep on this fact. And if I do, the result is a life that starts spinning out of control, even for a believer. The fact of inevitable indwelling sin does not mean I excuse it; no, in fact as a child of God, I hate it. And I must not fall asleep on it or it will take over and surely enslave me. I'm afraid that is exactly what I have let happen and I am now reaping the consequences.
One night getting ready for bed, just last week, this feeling was so strong and I felt so dirty that I was trying so hard to externally remove it. This is so sad, but it's true. I took a shower, I washed my face and hands, I scrubbed my teeth with extra toothpaste, I tried to get all my ducks in a line so that MAYBE I would find peace and comfort for a moment. Just maybe I wouldn't feel so dirty. WOW. How incredibly sad to even recall that about myself. I wasn't aware that was the reason why I was doing it at the time...but shortly after it dawned on me. You see, for a short time I lost sight of the glory of Christ. I wasn't making a serious effort to keep thoughts about the Lord and His glory in the forefront of my mind and look what came about. My life started to slowly spin out of control. To think that you can struggle with this and it not affect everything is completely absurd. To think that you can 'compartamentalize' in your life the gospel of Jesus Christ, which alone brings life, is completely absurd. My relationships were getting sloppy; I started to get lazy even with the people I love the most- namely my long distance relationship with my boyfriend out in California. A godly relationship with him even started to lose its fervor all because I was too busy being cluttered with the world. What a shame. But as shameful as that sounds, how much more shameful is it to lose fervor for your Lord, the one who reached down and saved you from the muck and mire of your sins? Only the blood of Christ can wash me clean of my iniquities, but not taking the time to retreat to the foot of the cross in humility is just pathetic. I am so thankful that the Lord brings these things to our attention so that we may awake out of this deranged state. I am so grateful for repentance and the healing that it brings.
All of this can be described as deception at its finest. And mix deception in with distraction and you have a deadly combination. Please listen to me...you cannot fight deception OR distraction on your own. Are you kidding me? You will just continue to fall in deeper and you will wonder why you can't seem to turn things around. You can't turn things around because you CAN'T turn things around. God is the one who TURNED things around for you in the first place when He saved you from your walk down an extremely wide path to Hell and placed you on the straight and narrow. And if He is the one who was in charge of doing that from the beginning, then why would it be any different now? Don't chase worldly things when they are the root of the problem. AND DO NOT put your affection on worldly things either because it will just leave you deceived and distracted. You will be left wondering how you got so off track in such a short period of time. Please do not keep turning to yourself; I promise you, you are mostly the problem. So what should we do then? We should turn to Christ. Quit putting it off. I don't care if you just sinned and you are ashamed. RUN to Christ. He is always always way more willing to forgive us than we are capable of sinning. Run to Christ, even when your deceived heart is not inclined to do so. If you are not spending time in prayer and in the word then you cannot expect to be able to fight temptation when it presents itself. The Bible says that the Lord never leaves you to a temptation without providing a way to escape it. Don't be too lazy to find the escape.
It seriously is a vicious cycle, my friends. If you are not making the effort to meditate on the glories of Christ and His word, then you are bound to lose your passion and zeal and desire for the things of God. And if you lose your desire, you will stop spending time in prayer and in the word. And if you stop that, it just leads to more worldly clutter and less thoughts of Christ...thus starting the cycle over again. Do you see now how even the strongest of believers can find themselves on the slippery slope? Faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. Do not take your sin lightly even for the slightest moment or you will learn the hard way. I am so grateful that the Lord has revealed this to me and even provided the desire to put in out in writing. I know I needed to hear it.
"For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith."
Romans 12:3
Enjoy this wonderful sermon by Charles Spurgeon on Indwelling sin:
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